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Types of love
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Eros, ludus, storage, pragma, mania and agape
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Eros
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-beauty and sexuality-focuses on beauty and physical attractiveness- often feels unfulfilled- particularly sensitive to physical imperfections in the ones they love
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Ludus
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- entertainment and excitement- is a game- love is not to be taken so seriously-self-controlled-passions never get wildly out of hand- stays with a partner only as long as they are interesting or amusing- little importance to sexual fidelity
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Storage
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- Peaceful and slow- lacks passion and intensity- companionable relationship- sex comes late and assumes no great importance
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Pragma
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- Practical and Traditional- seeks a relationship that will work-want compatibility- social qualifications rather than personal qualities- emphasize similarities- rarely deteriorate- "Can this girl cook?"
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Mania
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-Elation and Depression- extreme highs and lows- extreme jealousy-obsessive- poor self-image appears to only be improved by love-if there is love, nothing else matters
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Agape
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- Compassionate and selfless- unconditional love- Ghandi- often love complete strangers- does not expect love in return
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Traditional Couples
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-share
a basic belief system and philosophy of life. They don’t see each other as
separate individuals but as a couple, which is why they rarely
do things separately.-are
very interdependent and rely on sacrifice in sake of the relationship.-Each
person adheres to his or her traditional role, and because of this there are
few power struggles.-Traditional
couples are highly responsive to each other enabling a very tight knit
relationship.
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Independent Couples
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-stress
their individuality. Relationship
is just as important as individual identities.-Even though they may spend a great deal of
time together, they do not tend to ritualize it. -see
each other as androgynous-have
a very responsive communication and engage in conflict openly.This
often leads to their disclosure being very extensive and include high risk and
negative disclosure which is not present among traditional couples.
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Seperate Couples
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- Share very little- do live together, but
tend to be together due to convenience, not love or closeness. They have little
desire to see each other, only really do at mealtime or holiday get-togethers.
It is important to have their own Physical and Psychological space
in the relationship.- Go his or her own way- See himself or herself as individuals, not as
“we”
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The Equality Pattern
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1. Exists more in
theory than in practice.
2. Exists more in
same-sex than opposite-sex couples.
3. Each person shares
equally in communication
- Each is accorded a
similar degree of credibility.
- Each is equally open
to the ideas, opinions, and beliefs.
- Each engages in
self-disclosure on a more or less equal basis.
4. Neither person has
more importance than the other with them sharing in making decisions
5. Equal relationships
are equitable.
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The Unbalance Split Pattern
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1. In this
relationship there is one person who “in charge”, as in they dominate almost
all aspects of the relationship.
2. This usually
happens when one person is more intelligent, physically attractive, or earns a
higher wage.
3.
One side allows the other to lead and follows willingly while looking for the
other for leadership.
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The Balance Split Pattern
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1. The power in this
pattern is split up among different domains
2. Each person is in
charge of differing aspects of family matters
- Ex. In a
“traditional” family the husband would head matters in business and such while
the wife would be in charge of child rearing and whatnot.
3.
This usually results in fewer conflicts since there is little overlap in
responsibility.
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The Monopoly Pattern
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1. This pattern places
one person as the authority in which they instruct more often than taking
opinions.
2. Arguments don’t
happen often because the power balance is already established.
3.
This is different than the Unbalanced Split Pattern because the side on the
latter half of the relationship usually doesn't have much say in the matter.
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