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What is the basic criteria for a relationship to exisit
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1. parties need to be aware of each other and take each other into account.
2. must be a degree of mutual influence 3. there must be share relational definition. |
Reasons people are drawn together?
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Appearance, similarity
complementarity, rewards, competency, proximity, self disclosure |
Appearance:
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(strongest influence in early stages)
plays a role in who we're drawn ro. less important overtime, more enjoy someone the more attractive we find them. IE: "from the first time i saw her i thought she was special" |
Similarity
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(one of the most common)
"if there are people who are like us, then we're not that weird after all" "and we started talking and found we had so much in common" |
Complementarity:
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Differences can strengthen a relationship when each partner's characterstics satisfy the other's needs.
"not brilliant but really smart especially in things like math that i;m not so good at. " |
Rewards
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Cost too great the relationship does not last
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Exchange theory
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Suggests we seek those who can give us rewards that are lessthan the costs we encounter dealing with them.
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Competency;
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Like to be around talented people however like them to have a little bit of flaws too. uncomfortable around too competent ppl.
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Proximity:
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Develop relations with people whom we interact with frequently, often proximity leads to liking. "and then th next day, she showed up in the same english class, so we got to see alot of each other."
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Self disclosure
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Sharing priviate information with another person. indicates regard/trust, increases attractiveness, needs timing and reciprocity.
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Initiating
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First stage of Knapp, show intrest stage:
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Experimenting
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2nd stage of knapp. search for comon ground, small talk, trying to see if the relationship is worth it.
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Intensesifying
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3rd stage of Knap. starts labeling the relationship, ie friend, etc doing favors. spending an increase amount of time together etc. " we always had a such a great time together, and i honestly thought that this was really it for both of us."
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Intergrating
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4th stage of knap, seen as a couple, sharing commitments common properity. give upa bit of indiualiity.
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Bonding
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Symoblic public gesture, marriage etc
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