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Identify the Four Horsemen that set up the scene for destructive conflict.
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Criticism
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
Contempt
mneumotic: When the horsemen delivered their criticism, I was defensive and set about to stonewall rather than show my contempt.
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What four items set up a constructive complaint?
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"I" statement
Decribe undesirable behavior
Use neutral, non judemental language
Ask for specific, behavioral change
mneumotic: I described his behavior in non judgemental language and asked for a specific change.
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Esclatory Spiral
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Begins as opposing views but deteriorates into strong feelings, usually anger and fear. Shifts into damaging the other person.
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Avoidance Spiral
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Less direct interaction
Active avoidance of the other party
Reduction of dependence
Harboring or resement or disappointment
Complaining to thir person about the other party.
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Conflict
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Expressed struggle between at least 2 interdependent parties who perceive incompatabile goals, scare resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals.
Mnemonic: IRIS PIES = parties who are interdepedent and in an expressed struggle. Percieved incompatible goals, scrace resources or interference with goals.
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