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Cards In This Set
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The 3 stages of adjustment in early marriage(the critical first year) are...
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1. Mutual enjoyment--Honeymoon stage lasting weeks-months
2. Mutual Adjustment--must accomplish developmental tasks such as resolving power issues, roles, communication styles etc. 3. Mutual Fulfillment--continue to make adjustments using communication skills, unselfishness, kindness. --Larson Lecture, pgs 36-38 |
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2 keys to effective communication
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Behavior-verbal and nonverbal
Attitude-the mental view you hold--stems from beliefs, feelings, intentions. CMS pg. 4 |
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What is contracting or procedure setting in CC? CMS, p. 126
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Contracting- checking both your and your partner's willingness and readiness to talk about an issue
Setting procedures(huddling up) for conducting the discussion: Who,where, when and how. |
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According to Peck romantic love is? Real love is?
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Romantic love is temporary, Real love is lasting
--Larson pg. 3 (never found a direct reference, but I am pretty sure the above is in keeping with Peck's view). |
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What are the love stages in marriage? Describe what happens in each stage and why.
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Stage 1: Romantic Love--sexual, passionate, irrational, based on physical attraction, much rapport
Stage 2: Disillusionment and Distraction--reality hits when negative traits are discovered Stage 3: Dissolution:Give up/divorce ---OR--- Adjust with Resignation(little love, but commitment) or Adjust with contentment--romantic,altruistic and companionate love exists in successful marriages, along with work and commitment --Larson, pgs 2-6 |
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What is Barlow's tradition trap? How do you stay out of it?
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"Roles based on gender or tradition--be more flexible, base roles on choice, competence
--LL, pg37 |
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Name 6 examples of unrighteous dominion?
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1. husbands who seek happiness at work or elsewhere
2. Spouses who overwork callings or civic duties 3. Husbands who control money 4. You feel threatened by sharing with family members power and responsibility 5. Criticizing others--demanding perfection 6. Family members afraid of you --LL, pg 37 |
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What is the cure for unrighteous dominion?
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Doctrine and Covenants 121:41-42 A code of conduct
use of persuasion, gentleness, kindness, honesty as guided by the spirit. --LL, pg 37 |
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What is the first step in effective couple communication?CMS, p. 47
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Awareness (understanding yourself and partner) is foundational to effective communication.
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If you are listening and your partner pushes one of your buttons by what she says, what should you do? CMS, p. 128.
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Best guess: Call a time out
?? Not sure of this answer--could not find in course materials |
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What does "check process" mean on the mats? Lesson 7, p. 55
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Use when you want to comment on your behavior while on the mat, or ask your partner to listen while you speak.
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What does "time-out" mean on the mats? Lesson 7, page, 55.
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Use if you need to take a break from what you are saying--to think about it before continuing; or if you are confused/frustrated
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What are the 3 dimensions of the marriage triangle?
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Individual
Couple Context |
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What are the factors in the Individual dimension that predict marital satisfaction?
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personality--extrovert; flexibility, Good interpersonal skills such as assertiveness
emotional health--good self esteem, beliefs--commitment--Love |
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What are the factors in the Couple dimension that predict marital satisfaction?
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communication skills, conflict resolution, values, similarities, etc.
LL, p 16 |
