SFL 160 FINAL

Communication is a two way process. One person sends messages while the other interprets the messages. Overt messages are the verbal parts of our communication. Covert messages are the non-verbal parts of our communication (our dress, attitude, tone) and are open to interpretation.

Decoding is essential to communication because it is important that the receiver is correctly understanding the messages that are being received. Listening is key, focusing on understanding the other person.

1. Seeking Meaning- decoding, wanting to understand
2. Seeking Clarification- active listening
3. Seeking Congruence- sending same overt and covert messages

Seven levels of the hierarchy, (LOW: exchange on daily events, discussion of ideas, expression of feelings, need for decision, decision making, problem solving, crisis: HIGH), the lowest levels have the lowest amount of tension and pressure for a decision. When a decision is not made when it needs to be, the situation escalates to be more stressful and involves more tension.

Sentiment override occurs when our emotions or perceptions regarding the relationship influence our perception of communication messages. In other words, our communication becomes an emotional process rather than a cognitive one. Instead of using our brain to decode messages and resolve conflict, we allow our emotions to dictate our interpretations and response. Both positive and negative override can be dangerous.

How families regulated the balance between being close and giving each other space

If a family increases their intimacy and closeness, they must in turn decrease the individuality they grant. Conversely, if families give the members of the system a high amount of individuality, they will lose some of their intimacy and closeness. Thus, a key aspect of distance regulation is balance. Families must decide how to balance their intimacy and individuality. Healthy families strive to have a high tolerance for both intimacy and individuality.

Enmeshment occurs in families when they have a very high tolerance for intimacy yet a very low tolerance for individuality. In enmeshed families, no one in the family is allowed to make their own decisions or have goals, values, or beliefs that run counter to those of the larger family.

On the individual level, family members need to relearn how to have healthy boundaries with other people. One of the things we will work on with these families is to emphasize other family goals instead. Instead of placing so much focus on communicating about everything, maybe there are other family goals they can put time and energy into.

The three dimensions of the model are cohesion, flexibility, and communication.

COHESION: related to closeness and distance regulation in families. It is also often tied to paradigm formation in families and how well individual family members adhere to established paradigms and goals. FLEXIBILITY:

1. Disengaged- low intimacy, low loyalty
2. Connected- more separate than together and still emphasize time apart more than time together
3. Cohesive- higher tolerance for intimacy but lower tolerance for individuality than connected families.
4. Enmeshed- high loyalty, high goals

1. Chaotic- change consistently, no leadership
2. Flexible- higher amount of flexibility, developmentally appropriate changes
3. Structured- democratic leadership, strict roles
4. Rigid- no change, authoritarian

Communication is the means through which families can change their family type, through changing rules and paradigms, healthy communication is vital to allowing all members of the family system to engage in the change that takes place.

Application