Psychology 315 Notes 4/13/10 Ch. 12 Close Relationships

The movement from casual friendship to close (and possible romantic) relationships involves greater interdependence, mutuality and a sense of identity that includes another person (we) Beyond these broad generalities, there are important distinctions and types of love

Defining characteristic – sense of intense arousal and emotion – feel this kind of love in gut, powerful arousal/emotion component Other features - unrealistic evaluations of the person you are in love with (idealize person in bizarre way), feelings of longing and desire to spend as much time as possible with loved one, person dominates your thoughts (cognitive preoccupation and intense absorption with the loved one), relatively short lived – don’t last very long (why? Presence of strong arousal suggests the possibility that passionate love may be, in part, a misattribution, excitation transfer theory – misattribute arousal as love, falling in love for wrong reasons) This misattribution process may account for the phenomenon of “love at first sight," it may also help explain why passionate love is often short in duration

Love at first sight phenomenon suggests that external events can sometimes influence the internal experience of “love” – “Romeo and Juliet” effect – relationship based on reactance (parents didn’t want them to get into a relationship, as a result relationship between Romeo and Juliet became even stronger than they were inclined to in the first place)

Less emotional and more rational than passionate love, characterized by mutual understanding and typical of successful, long-term relationships (marriages are typically this kind of relationship)

Fehr and Russell identified 20 types of love, but they vary in how prototypical they were perceived to be Sibling love, friendship, motherly love (mother – child), one way relationship, love for organization or group of people Various types of love – maternal love, friendship, spiritual love, patriotic love, platonic love, self-love, infatuation, etc. (express mutuality/interdependence)

Most widely accepted view of love, provided by Robert Sternberg In this model, different kinds of love are defined by different amounts of passion, intimacy, and commitment

Romantic and physical attraction, sexual desire, high arousal, intense emotion

Empathy, sense of mutual understanding, care and concern, communication (friendships are dominated by intimacy)

Cognitive dimension, think about relationship (pros/cons), make a decision to continue with/end relationship

Infatuation – passionate, obsessive love at first sight without intimacy or commitment (can be one way)

Liking – true friendship without passion or long-term commitment

Empty love – decision to love another person without passion or intimacy as in an arranged marriage or a marriage of convenience

Romantic love – lovers physically and emotionally attracted to each other but without commitment as in a summer romance

(head over heels in love, expectation of endurance) Fatuous love – commitment based on passion but without time for intimacy to develop = shallow relationship as in a whirlwind courtship (attraction may not be mutual, no sharing of feelings, starts off as one-sided love)

Companionate love – long-term committed friendship such as marriage in which the passion has faded