Millar and Roger's Relational Theory

People do not relate and then talk, they simultaneously relate in talk

Modifies expectations used to define relationships used to structure relationships (develop Rules)

A shift from analysis of the individual to analysis of the dyad and a shit from analysis of interacts to an analysis of transactions

1. intimacy
2. trust 3. control

-perceptual variable; concerned with the past -the degree to which each person uses the other as a source of confimation and the affective evaluation of confirnation

1 the feeling of intimacy stems from the positiveness that one individual feels for the others evaluation of self 2 the more the others perception of self acts as a constraint on behavior, the more the intimate relationship 3 the more an individual exclusively shares experiences and self concept with another, the more intimate the relationship

Reciprocal dependency for confimation effectiveness of the other as a confirmer

-behavioral variable;concerned with future trust exsists to the extent that participants manifest trusting and trust-worthy behaviors

1 partners base trust on their ability to accurately predict the extent to which the other will behave in an expected manner in response to requests, rules, and roles 2 trusting behaviors are an admission of ones vulnerability and dependence on the other 3 trustworthy behaviors are a recognition of that vulnerablitiy and the obligation not to exploit it

-behavioral component;concerned with the present control is concerned with who has the right to direct, delimit, and defin the actions of both self and partner in the relational system -is manifest in interations between partners specifically in the relational level of meanings and one must examine transactions to observe control Message 1>Message 2> Message 3 Person A from Person B From person A

1. the more a person asserts relational definitions (a one-up move) that are accepted (a one-down move) the more dominant the person in the relational system 2 the more one up moves offered in the face of mixed reactions the more domineering the person 3 moves can be one up and one down or one across. when examining transactions, moves can be: competitive-uu,dd, complementary-ud, du, neutral: aa, transitionary: au,ad,da,ua,

Central concern of the theory: how people manage the dialectic (relational tension) between the competing goals of openness versus privacy, public vs private information, and the need to share information vs the need to protect ones self.

Term to describe moments when boundaries are unshared, violated, or in the process of renogotiation

When one person volunatarily tells another person something about the self that the listener is unlikely to know or discover from the other sources

1 very little self disclosure occurs in most conversations but a lot of self disclosure occurs in few conversations 2 self disclosure usually occurs in dyads 3 highest levels occur with intimates and strangers; lowest with acquaintences we will see again 4 in dyads in usually reciprocal and symmetrical