Front | Back |
Possible reason for unhappy, failing marriages
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Lack of preparation given to the MARRIAGE
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You CANNOT afford to
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Not PREPARE for marriage
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•Positive effects of Marriage:
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-Lead a healthier lifestyle
-Live longer -Satisfying sexual relationship -More wealth/ economic assets -Healthier children (academically/emotionally) |
Formula for a successful marriage
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· Both partners are friends
· Both independent and matures
· Both love not only each other but love ourselves
· Both enjoy being alone as well as together
· Both established in work/career
· Both know themselves
· Both can/do express self assertively
· Both friends as well as lovers
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Single best predicter of a successful marriage:
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Age
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Expressing oneself assertively
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-Eliminate games
-Get comfortable taking care of you -Request vs. demand |
Positive Reasons to Marry
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-Companionship
-Love/intimacy -Supportive partnership -Sexual partnership -Sharing parenthood |
Negative Reasons to Marry
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-Pregnancy
-Rebellion against parents -Independence -Rebounding from relationship -Family/social pressure -Economic security |
Effective Premarital Program includes
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-Premarital inventory
i.e. Prepare/Enrich -training in communication/problem-solving skills self disclosure- key to continued intimacy -participation in small group with other couples -the type of relationship you have before marriage is VERY predictable of whether you will have a healthy, successful, happy marriage |
Characteristics best predicting a happy marriage:
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•Realistic attitudes
•Satisfaction with the personality of our partner •Enjoy communicating with your partner •Satisfaction with methods of conflict resolution •Agree on religious & ethical values •More equal roles •Balance of joint & individual leisure activities |
One of the major reasons new couples have difficulty adjusting is because
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They are idealistic
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Vitalized
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-Highest level of satisfaction in ALL aspects of marriage
-High in communication/conflict resolution -Older/more educated/married longer/higher status-jobs -80% have never considered divorce |
Harmonious
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-Second most satisfied
-Moderately high scores when assessing marital satisfaction -More educated/higher status-jobs -Had the fewest number of children yet report dissatisfaction with their parenting |
Traditional
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-High scores in areas of children/parenting, equal roles and religion
-Agreed religion is important aspect of marriage -Lower scores in relationship skills of communication/conflict resolution -Tended to dislike partner -Married younger/fewer women employed fulltime/have more children -Stay married even though dissatisfied |
Conflicted
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-Moderately low scores overall except higher in equalitarian roles/religion
-Problems communicating/solving problems -Younger/married fewer years/less educated and lower status job |